Mr. and Mme are shown here shopping, thought it’s doubtful that either have been to a grocery [to shop] since the ’70s. And I bet it’s not because they live in food deserts. That doesn’t say much for their connections to the average American. But here they are shopping—on opposite sides of the aisle—for the various ingredients for their political cook-off.

Mme is planning a haute cuisine salad of mixed “greens” (both greenback and green peace varieties.) Balancing the contrasting flavors of idealist social-democrats and cynical, selfish neoliberals is her task. Her not so secret ingredients are those special spices needed for all political fare: partial truth and pro quid pro.

Mr. has already begun simmering his toxic stew; it’s a pot of locally-sourced nationalists, racists, and sexists as well as home-grown religious fundamentalists, yummy. His “secret” spices are lies, hate and fear.

If Mme wins, its a SNAFU, look that up if you have to. If Mr. wins it’ll be something else; interesting times, to say the least. This all-you-can-stomach event will be open 24/7 until election day. Pace yourself. And vote wisely.