Magi—semi-legit illusionists or astrologers reinvented as “wise men bearing gifts”—made house calls back in the day. These days they or their minions hold court in big boxes; you must now go to them, on foot or online. The 21st century magi are still wise, but more wise-guy than wise-man, though. And this is not “good news” for us because their “gifts” cost more than they are worth.

“The [annual] war on Christmas” usually begins with media bites about banning magi from public spaces and spreads from there. It is nothing but Fox-Newsian click bait, it is best ignored; but like a highway crash, that’s sometimes hard to do. The right-wing pundits’ chosen adversaries here are usually people, or institutions, who are self-declared or denounced as anti-crechean atheists. No surprises there, as atheism is a world view opposed by the pundits’ bread and butter base.

But there are way more deserving people or institutions to declare war on than atheists. Atheists—non-theists, pantheists, or even plain ol’ theists—are not, by definition, out to take advantage of you. They are quite unlike corporations—and the people who thrive therein—specifically created to exist in a zero-sum world where the only goal is to take as much and give as little as possible. If you, dear pundits, want to start or continue a just war do so with the de-humanists and leave the humanists alone.