The Comet Narcissus

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Don’t know how well you can see it on the 485px version but on the 1200px original you can see that the comet is a self portrait. Took me a while to get the lighting right, thank you photoshop. Wacom, too couldn’t have done it with a mouse.

There was a TV show, couple of nights back, where a man said, “There comes a time in every man’s life when he realizes he’s invisible to all attractive women.” British of course, in American TV all older characters are jokes. To which I’d add the fact of his invisibility comes long before his realization of it and in that time/space there is much embarrassment.

The telescope being upside down is on purpose. The handsome -and youthful- couple has no desire or need, reason to look at the aging/fading artist.

The original digression from reading a psych text to metaphor-ing an understanding of via image-ry to thinking that that might make a good drawing to actually making a drawing had a planets vs. comets theme. Thinking about planets staying in orbit because of a balance of momentum and gravity as a metaphor for people “libidinally cathected.” Thank you Hr. Dr. Freud, I now don’t have to embarrass myself by talking of love.

Thinking about how different is a comet, like planets in an orbit but an object not by its gravity but because of its coldness –a ball of ice and dirt, it is- and that coldness is only from its distance from the star it orbits.

With further cogitation, the metaphors kind of fell apart. I’ll not bore you with exactly how. But they held until the drawing was too far along not to finish.  So here it is.

The comet is now a metaphor for narcissism, which is a defensive position. After the optimism of desire fades into envy and before wisdom makes it yearning, the narcissist  says, but doesn’t really believe, “I’m better than that, I’m above all this,” and gets though it.

The desirer first thinks he can get what/who he desires but after multiple failures he loses that desire, but gains an anger, as he’s now envious of others’ successes. Finally the anger fades leaving just an aggregation of sadness for his loss, with a tail of pride.

The sadness is not mourning but melancholia. For with the former, there he could grieve his loss accept that it/she was here-then, it/she is now-there. Realize that both places are really here-now. Accept this and move on.  But with the latter, attempts to grieve fail because there’s no here-then to be here-now and now-there was there-then. he never really had what he feels he’s lost,. And pride won’t let him admit that.

I think about things i sorta/barely-if-at-all comprehend, because I read books over my pay grade. I do it to jiggle loose artsy stuff, which is generally all about me, whoever I am. Today it seems I’m a narcissistic melancholic, but that’ll change when I’m reading a different book. The above mentioned psych text is “On A Darkling Plain” edited by Ivan Ward. And I apologize in advance to those offended by my miss-constructions. But I also say to them: “Get a life.”

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